I Guess that's Why They Say this is a Rollercoaster

Ovulation...uncheck. The lab results came back negative. But, how could a 99% accurate test come back with the opposite opinion not once, but twice? I guess we will just have to wait and see. Trying to stay positive sucks! How ironic is that sentence? LOL! Well, I suppose we will just have to see what happens. Either I get my period in a week or so or I get a positive pregnancy test...

Wow!

I feel like skipping, dancing, jumping and shouting all at the same time. My OPK just came back positive. Ovulation---check! Yeah!!!!!

Truly on a Mission

I had to make a very selfish decision today. I chose to stay the course with this months' round instead of being with my family in a very difficult time. It broke my heart that I won't be there to hold my mom's hand while she deals with her two sisters' illnesses. But, after weighing the pro's and con's it came down to this...I am desperate to have a child and I know that it could take quite a while. So, I just wasn't willing to break free for a couple of days to do the road trip to family. Still, even though I'm at peace with the decision, I feel very guilty like I'm letting people I love down.

To Temp. or not to Temp...that is the Question.

I have decided to begin taking a daily temperature check to try to clock my cycle...that is, if I ever do ovulate. I also bought a different ovulation test kit that has a circle for negative results and a smiley face for a positive result. Those test strips with the hard to read lines are brutal and NOT for me! Here's hoping for a smiley face soon! Obsessive? Perhaps, but I'd rather not wait until day 21 to find out after lab tests. Come on body, work with me : ).

Here we go again!

I don't think that I have ever been so excited to get my period! If my cycle wouldn't have happened naturally then we would have had to wait over 20 extra days to get back on track...waiting is not really my thing! : ) My best friend since High School was hanging at our house when I shouted "Thank God" from the bathroom. It was a moment! She is understanding. She had a son when she was 20 and it took 7 years for them to get pregnant again. Although most of that time they were debating about the timing of a new addition to the family. So now, I'm off to the store for a myriad of feminine products, ovulation kits, and my next round of 100mg. Clomid, which I will take from Sunday-Friday. As my bestie from college and I used to say when we were lost on roadtrips....Weeeeeeeeeeeee!

Anyone notice how many shows/commercials there are with babies in them? It's like when you get a new car and all of a sudden you notice that everyone has the same car as you do. Just a thought...

First Time

Today was a strange day. I really didn't know how to describe what I was feeling. One minute I was thinking about all of the great things about being pregnant: telling family, the excitement of a baby, the fulfillment of our dream. The next minute I was slapped with the realization that it wasn't going to happen...at least not this month.

Month one of clomid. Hot flashes, mood swings, and grad. classes...not a fantastic combination! But, I guess better luck next time! They told us that it would most likely not happen this month. I guess that I would be fine if I would just ovulate and we could confirm that I actually make eggs. That's really all that I'm asking. The fact that we don't know and are in a wait and see process is maddening.

So...am I happy?mad?angry?sad?...I really can't define what I'm feeling right now. I just know that I would prefer to never feel this way again.